Whole Pizza

Since the New Year, I've wanted to do a Whole 30.  So far, this year has been more like a Whole Pizza.  
And frankly I'm too exhausted to care.  I know, I know, I'd probably have more stamina if I just buckled down and did it.  

But there are so many tacos to be eaten!



Not that I get to sit down to eat those tacos, so maybe that's good...


Deacon's been putting hours in in the kitchen.  Maybe someday that will translate into eating real food.


His buddy Griffin ate beans and rice and Deacon stuck to his baby crackers.  This was more than a month ago, so Deacon would totally eat one grain of rice now; we've come so far.



Aren't they cute?  I love that they each got to have a lunch companion their own size.

I can't believe we are about to have a one year old.  


It's no wonder he's such a lightweight- he's a picky eater and does not stop moving.  Ever.  

He is the busiest baby of all time.  I am going to be sad when he stops nursing for a lot of reasons, but one of them is that it's the only time we can sit down for 5 minutes together (or apart).  I can't even feed him all at once now, there are too many things to be explored.

Speaking of nursing, or even parenting in general, people have opinions about it, and they really really like to share with me those opinions.  It's okay, I don't mind.  I just nod and smile and then do whatever I think is best for our family.  Or at least I'm trying to (it's way harder when I respect the people and their opinions and want to please them).  People get so fired up about nursing, which I guess is fine.  I just don't understand why they get so riled up when it has absolutely nothing to do with them and does not affect them in any way (maybe it does if they are subjected to seeing a baby in the vicinity of a mothers shirt?  I don't know many nursing moms who flash much flesh around).  Because I know you're all now wondering: I do not plan on nursing Deacon through College, or even Kindergarten, but I also haven't been looking at his first birthday as a countdown to weaning.  Nursing has been a wonderful tool for us, it's healthy for him, not a big deal for me, I don't see the rush in quitting.  Sorry if that offends anyone- I guess I have opinions too and share them unasked!  Haha

A while back I had a lady see how busy and well... cranky Deacon was (it was a rough afternoon) and she told me how blessed she was that her son was not like that.  For the record, I feel pretty hashtag blessed that Deacon is ours, and I'll keep him just the way he is, thankyouverymuch.  I love my busy little roosterhead.  

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Cyberphobia

I know I've been MIA.  Sorry.  Blogging has been kind of a weird question mark in my head for awhile now.  Like, how much information is too much?  Some people that I write the dumb blog for in the first place don't read it, which is annoying.  Sometimes I feel exposed when I figure out that I've shared my innermost feelings with total strangers.  Mostly, I think I should keep it all in my journal which I don't write in anymore.  I think my entries for 2013-2014 came to a total of 3.  "I'm pregnant."  "I had a baby."  "I'm tired."  That was about it.  Trust me, this is much better than my middle school journals; so many feeeeeeelings, and so, so embarrassing.

So, I'm not sure what I'm doing.  It's hard for me to write anything without being overly honest and open (which is of course why you all love me, right???), and there are a lot of things that I need to keep to myself*.  It's been the best of years and the worst of years and I'm trying to figure out how to be authentic on here without overexposure.

I should probably just give the people (grandma's) what they want: pictures of Deacon.



Speaking of people scared of the internet, this is my dad (who shall remain nameless) not Deacon.



 I can't even get over it.  Deacon has his hair, strand for strand.  
Evidently, cute babies run in our family.

*Edit:  Okay, so I went back and skimmed my last 8 posts or so.  I have hardly given you anything but facts!  I feel much better about everything.  I guess I'm editing myself better than I thought.  Maybe it's all the posts I'm writing in my head that I'm thinking of (I do this for real- in my head I have about a new post a day, apparently with a lot of feelings in them).  In any case, I'm still trying to figure out where the line is.  Thanks for listening, internet :o)

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11 months!


I can't believe we're here, it is blowing my mind that we've arrived at 11 months with our boy!  I've been playing the "last year at this time" game a lot, as the weather is having a beautiful snap, and it had a nice snap last year about this time and thus, a lot of memories are coming back.  I keep telling Evan, "I can't believe we didn't know Deacon last year at this time, didn't even know his name."  
It's nice to have him here, and to not be gigantic this year, and to not be filled with worry.


We mostly have peaceful days, although at mealtime, we tend to have a lot of food fights.  It's my fault, I'm overly paranoid about choking and didn't give Deacon enough textures or lumps early on.  So now he's totally a smooth food snob and rejects any and all lumps.  On Friday we had dinner with our friends who have a boy one month older than Deacon.  That baby ate a taco, Deacon ate pureed smooth mush.  We're working on it.  He's getting a little better everyday, and even ate toast for the first time yesterday.  You can almost always find dried food behind his ears- he takes his sticky fingers and grabs his ears in an attempt to disappear (or so it appears).  


Deacon loves to walk/run with his walker, and seems to be itching to walk on his own.  I'm fine with him taking a while longer, he's already too fast for me! 
I can't believe we've almost made it a whole year! 

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32!

Happiest of Birthdays to the happiest guy I know! 


Deacon and I couldn't be more grateful that you are our main man.  We love you! 


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Deacon Claus

Happy New Year! 
And Merry Christmas!  I guess I never got around to posting my "Merry Christmas Post."  If I remember right, I started and stopped working on it about 10 times, and finally just deleted it.



We had a wonderful time in California over Christmas.

For some reason, it was important to me to get a picture of Deacon with Santa for his first Christmas.  Since Deacon was sick so long before Christmas, we missed all our opportunities in San Antonio.  We ended up spending two hours of our Christmas Eve waiting in line to see Santa at the Pacific View mall.  I wanted to abort mission, but by the time I realized it was going to take so long, I was too far in.
This is how Deacon felt about it.


And if you can see my face, this is how I felt about it- even though it was my brilliant idea.



But, luckily, 20 years from now, this is all I will remember: 


Is that guy the real Santa or what?  


Deacon loved his first Christmas morning.  Actually, I think he was kind of confused, but we loved watching him on his first Christmas morning.


He loves the "Touch and Feel book" Grandma Claus got him.



Since we had not one decoration up in Texas, it was nice to come to a winter wonderland at my parents house.


We had a nice time celebrating Christmas at my parents house and grandparents house.







While in CA, I had the chance to catch up with several old friends, which was so fun.  I love my friends in San Antonio, but there's nothing like old friends who you've known/ known you for a life time.  Or at least all of adulthood (like Erin, pictured below). 


There is more worth sharing from California, but that's all the time I have.  Since I have to give the people what they want "MORE PICTURES PLEASE" this will have to do.
*Also, I'm happy to report that Tebow is doing much better!  He is not back to normal, he's still being kenneled and on pain meds, but I think he's going to live to bark another day.  Such a relief. 

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Poor Tebow

This guy woke up sort of happy for the first time in 8 days.  Hooray!
(Deacon, not Evan).


 It has been a long week.  He is still not quite his happy self, but close enough to declare victory.  I don't have the patience, it turns out, for whining, crying and clinging around the clock.  Full disclosure: I'm typing with one hand right now, a crying baby is in my other arm.  Maybe it was too soon to declare victory.  I'm so happy he's feeling better, but I'm quite over it.  

This poor pup is not feeling better.  


My heart is just breaking seeing him in so much pain.  The vet wants us to get an MRI and see about surgery, but I'm just not sure that we're willing to go that route (we had an Xray last week- basically his whole back is bad).  He's on steroids and pain killers and a muscle relaxant.  But he is obviously in a lot of pain (he just yelped when I pet his head a minute ago).  It is making me sick to my stomach to watch him try to hobble, shake in pain and not have control of his bodily functions.


I'm trying to remain optimistic (my last dachshund, Rusty was on his last leg several different times and would pull through) but it is difficult when he is obviously in so much pain.
I feel pretty helpless about the whole thing.  I wish a lot of 
things, but one of them is that this didn't happen right before Christmas. 
No more dachshunds for me, I can't take it.

Oh, also depressing: I graduated from college 10 years ago yesterday.  I'm not sure how that happened.

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Bull Elk

Evan finally got an elk tag this year- but not just any tag, a Bull Elk tag in a good unit outside Payson Arizona.  He was on said hunting trip with his dad all last week.  It was a long week for me and Deacon without him, but he had a wonderful time.


And better yet, he got a 4 by!  I have a better picture than this, but I offended some people with his axes deer photos a few years ago, so I'll just stick with the antlers. 


They had to carry Mr. 400 lber out at least a mile.  

The meat is delicious, and I'm so happy he got to go.  The next time, he insists me and Deacon have to go.  We would have loved staying at the cabin, but not the 15 hour drive to get there.

I'm sad to report that Tebow's first experience with a bad dachshund back has happened.  It is so sad and pitiful, and only started last night.  We rushed him to the vet for pain pills, but I'm pretty sure we'll need to go back for something else.  He hasn't left his kennel, and yelps in pain when you touch him.  He is certainly not being his ornery self- and it is awful not to be able to help him.  


It has been a rough week all around, this happy little baby is sick too.  He's had a fever and the snots- we're pretty miserable around here.  I feel like having a sick baby wouldn't be so bad if it didn't come with a heap of worry.  Just dealing with the actual care of him would be fine if I wasn't so worried about him/ wondering if I should take him to the Doctor/ Tylenol now?  When the fever goes up?  Is it up too high?  Is this something serious masquerading as a cold?


When I broke my arm in 5th grade, both of my parents told me they wished they could have the broken arm instead of me- wishing they could take it from me.  I remember thinking that was so weird- why on earth would they wish they could be in that amount of pain instead of me???  But I get it now, it would be so much easier to deal with having whatever it is yourself.  I feel so helpless- and it's just a high fever and runny nose.  

We were going to go see Santa at Bass Pro today with some friends, but instead we're in survival mode!  Rest for everyone!  

Maybe I should take this sick day to put up some Christmas decorations.  Haha, who am I kidding?  

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