chop chop

I've read a few articles lately on some creepy stuff that goes on in the internets: baby picture stealing and general evilness.  I feel like private blogs are a pain to read- logging in is annoying, and if I love reading a family blog and I don't currently know the family I'm too embarrassed to ask to be invited to read it, and I miss hearing about all their goings on.  I'm like a virtual nosey neighbor: I want to know all your business.  I really do, no joke.  Except on facebook.  I took FB off my phone a few months ago and I have to say, I feel like a new woman.  I've also started to hide people who clog my feed with TMI, Jamberry, Arbonne, YOnique, Advocare, and any other useless sh*t they want to jam(berry) down my throat.  I don't have the mental space for all that noise anymore.  And no, I don't want to buy or sell it, thankyouverymuch.

Anyway, I'm considering going private here on the ol' bloggy blog.  So, if I go private and we don't currently hang out, please don't be afraid to ask for an invite.  Or even if you are a really nice stranger, it's fine.  

I was listening to a podcast yesterday (I love podcasts, audiobooks, talk radio, etc alldayeveryday) and one of the gals said, "if my blog isn't meant to impact people in a positive way, what's the point?  I might as well keep it in my journal."  I thought, "yes, I might as well."  Except that my family really wants to read my journal.  And, since this is the "positive spin on all stories about my life journal" it is kind of a nice way to only remember the good parts, the highlights, not record all the gloomy unglamourous parts that nobody wants to hear about and that I don't really want to remember anyway.  

 Speaking of unglamourous parts, you may have seen the happy bluebonnet photos on FB.  I made Deacon skip his nap to take them, and out of 71 photos, I got about 4 good ones.  He is still pretty darn cute, even when making his sad pleading face.

 If you listened to my rant thus far, do you have any thoughts about password protecting this blog?  Would you bother?  Would that dash all your voyeuristic endeavours like it does mine?  When I think of all the evil out there, and my precious happy little boy, I want to delete everything, hide at home and never hire a stranger babysitter again. (I just hired one for a wedding we'll be attending, and it's hard for me, leaving my precious boy with a total stranger in a strange hotel and hoping for the best: pass the tequila). 

Also, I cut my hair.  I cut about 10 inches off- it feels like a huge change and honestly only 3 people have noticed so far.  So I guess I tossed and turned over that one for an entire year for nothing.  

(I decided to finally do it when my friend's 4 year old put her hair in a top knot and said "Look, I'm Miss Rebecca!"  My top knot reflex had to change, and now I don't have the option).


Paleo + Tequila

So after Deacon's birthday and after helping him eat all the cupcakes I decided to finally suck it up and do the Whole 30.  I had been putting it off for months, and I finished it yesterday!  Except I modified it, with tequila:

The Whole30 people would not say it counted- if you choose to eat something off limits, "that's okay, no problem, your 30 days will start over tomorrow."  I would be doing it for the rest of my life!  Anyway, I wasn't doing it for them.  I already know what food I feel good eating and what foods make me feel like garbage.  I wasn't doing it for any profound reason: I wanted to kick sugar cravings and look better in my jeans.  Depending on the day, I'm down either 3 lbs or 6, and black coffee tastes good to me.  3 o'clock comes without me begging for chocolate.  I consider it a success! 

Also, my face is less puffy.

Anyway, here is what I learned:
  • I cheat waaaaay more than I thought I did.  By having to say no to things so often (like more than once a day) I've realized how often in my life I was saying yes.  
  • Saying no can be awful in social situations.  In fact, I'm relieved that I can just take the homemade scone and say "thank you" instead of having to be rude and embarrass myself.  Dieting is the worst for making friends.  It is so boring: boring to do, boring to talk about, and frankly, rude sometimes.  I hated that part. Yes it's also rude to push food on people, but it feels just as bad to say no to everything.  
  • Despite that, saying no was easy when I didn't have sugar pulsing through my veins.  I made two chicken pot pies, a batch of cookies, mac 'n cheese and didn't have a bite.  Okay, maybe it wasn't easy, but it was fine.
  • My hunger mechanism still works.  I find that when I'm eating really well, I'm full until I'm not, and then I'm starving.  I'm hungry in my body, not my head.  That make sense? 
  • And finally, "Don't let perfect become the enemy of good" became my inner monologue.  I was getting rather... uptight with myself when I wasn't perfectly perfect, and it was about to make me go crazy.  I've been using it in other areas too, like exercising and parenting, and laundry.   I didn't think I was a perfectionist, but apparently I have some of that going on.
 I'm trying to make changes around here.  It's slow going.  Next up, my roots.  


Baby of the Hour

Our little Deacon is 13 months old and walking.  He is only walking across the room right now, be he gets better by the hour.  

These pictures however, are from last month when he was turning a year old.

We had a really fun party for him with all his friends from church and his Grandma Debby.

I have been getting complaints that I'm letting my blog obligations slip.  For that (as always) I'm sorry.  Honestly, I'm just trying to keep my head above water!  How do people have more than one kid???


Whole Pizza

Since the New Year, I've wanted to do a Whole 30.  So far, this year has been more like a Whole Pizza.  
And frankly I'm too exhausted to care.  I know, I know, I'd probably have more stamina if I just buckled down and did it.  

But there are so many tacos to be eaten!

Not that I get to sit down to eat those tacos, so maybe that's good...

Deacon's been putting hours in in the kitchen.  Maybe someday that will translate into eating real food.

His buddy Griffin ate beans and rice and Deacon stuck to his baby crackers.  This was more than a month ago, so Deacon would totally eat one grain of rice now; we've come so far.

Aren't they cute?  I love that they each got to have a lunch companion their own size.

I can't believe we are about to have a one year old.  

It's no wonder he's such a lightweight- he's a picky eater and does not stop moving.  Ever.  

He is the busiest baby of all time.  I am going to be sad when he stops nursing for a lot of reasons, but one of them is that it's the only time we can sit down for 5 minutes together (or apart).  I can't even feed him all at once now, there are too many things to be explored.

Speaking of nursing, or even parenting in general, people have opinions about it, and they really really like to share with me those opinions.  It's okay, I don't mind.  I just nod and smile and then do whatever I think is best for our family.  Or at least I'm trying to (it's way harder when I respect the people and their opinions and want to please them).  People get so fired up about nursing, which I guess is fine.  I just don't understand why they get so riled up when it has absolutely nothing to do with them and does not affect them in any way (maybe it does if they are subjected to seeing a baby in the vicinity of a mothers shirt?  I don't know many nursing moms who flash much flesh around).  Because I know you're all now wondering: I do not plan on nursing Deacon through College, or even Kindergarten, but I also haven't been looking at his first birthday as a countdown to weaning.  Nursing has been a wonderful tool for us, it's healthy for him, not a big deal for me, I don't see the rush in quitting.  Sorry if that offends anyone- I guess I have opinions too and share them unasked!  Haha

A while back I had a lady see how busy and well... cranky Deacon was (it was a rough afternoon) and she told me how blessed she was that her son was not like that.  For the record, I feel pretty hashtag blessed that Deacon is ours, and I'll keep him just the way he is, thankyouverymuch.  I love my busy little roosterhead.  



I know I've been MIA.  Sorry.  Blogging has been kind of a weird question mark in my head for awhile now.  Like, how much information is too much?  Some people that I write the dumb blog for in the first place don't read it, which is annoying.  Sometimes I feel exposed when I figure out that I've shared my innermost feelings with total strangers.  Mostly, I think I should keep it all in my journal which I don't write in anymore.  I think my entries for 2013-2014 came to a total of 3.  "I'm pregnant."  "I had a baby."  "I'm tired."  That was about it.  Trust me, this is much better than my middle school journals; so many feeeeeeelings, and so, so embarrassing.

So, I'm not sure what I'm doing.  It's hard for me to write anything without being overly honest and open (which is of course why you all love me, right???), and there are a lot of things that I need to keep to myself*.  It's been the best of years and the worst of years and I'm trying to figure out how to be authentic on here without overexposure.

I should probably just give the people (grandma's) what they want: pictures of Deacon.

Speaking of people scared of the internet, this is my dad (who shall remain nameless) not Deacon.

 I can't even get over it.  Deacon has his hair, strand for strand.  
Evidently, cute babies run in our family.

*Edit:  Okay, so I went back and skimmed my last 8 posts or so.  I have hardly given you anything but facts!  I feel much better about everything.  I guess I'm editing myself better than I thought.  Maybe it's all the posts I'm writing in my head that I'm thinking of (I do this for real- in my head I have about a new post a day, apparently with a lot of feelings in them).  In any case, I'm still trying to figure out where the line is.  Thanks for listening, internet :o)


11 months!

I can't believe we're here, it is blowing my mind that we've arrived at 11 months with our boy!  I've been playing the "last year at this time" game a lot, as the weather is having a beautiful snap, and it had a nice snap last year about this time and thus, a lot of memories are coming back.  I keep telling Evan, "I can't believe we didn't know Deacon last year at this time, didn't even know his name."  
It's nice to have him here, and to not be gigantic this year, and to not be filled with worry.

We mostly have peaceful days, although at mealtime, we tend to have a lot of food fights.  It's my fault, I'm overly paranoid about choking and didn't give Deacon enough textures or lumps early on.  So now he's totally a smooth food snob and rejects any and all lumps.  On Friday we had dinner with our friends who have a boy one month older than Deacon.  That baby ate a taco, Deacon ate pureed smooth mush.  We're working on it.  He's getting a little better everyday, and even ate toast for the first time yesterday.  You can almost always find dried food behind his ears- he takes his sticky fingers and grabs his ears in an attempt to disappear (or so it appears).  

Deacon loves to walk/run with his walker, and seems to be itching to walk on his own.  I'm fine with him taking a while longer, he's already too fast for me! 
I can't believe we've almost made it a whole year! 



Happiest of Birthdays to the happiest guy I know! 

Deacon and I couldn't be more grateful that you are our main man.  We love you! 


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