- I cheat waaaaay more than I thought I did. By having to say no to things so often (like more than once a day) I've realized how often in my life I was saying yes.
- Saying no can be awful in social situations. In fact, I'm relieved that I can just take the homemade scone and say "thank you" instead of having to be rude and embarrass myself. Dieting is the worst for making friends. It is so boring: boring to do, boring to talk about, and frankly, rude sometimes. I hated that part. Yes it's also rude to push food on people, but it feels just as bad to say no to everything.
- Despite that, saying no was easy when I didn't have sugar pulsing through my veins. I made two chicken pot pies, a batch of cookies, mac 'n cheese and didn't have a bite. Okay, maybe it wasn't easy, but it was fine.
- My hunger mechanism still works. I find that when I'm eating really well, I'm full until I'm not, and then I'm starving. I'm hungry in my body, not my head. That make sense?
- And finally, "Don't let perfect become the enemy of good" became my inner monologue. I was getting rather... uptight with myself when I wasn't perfectly perfect, and it was about to make me go crazy. I've been using it in other areas too, like exercising and parenting, and laundry. I didn't think I was a perfectionist, but apparently I have some of that going on.
I know I've been MIA. Sorry. Blogging has been kind of a weird question mark in my head for awhile now. Like, how much information is too much? Some people that I write the dumb blog for in the first place don't read it, which is annoying. Sometimes I feel exposed when I figure out that I've shared my innermost feelings with total strangers. Mostly, I think I should keep it all in my journal which I don't write in anymore. I think my entries for 2013-2014 came to a total of 3. "I'm pregnant." "I had a baby." "I'm tired." That was about it. Trust me, this is much better than my middle school journals; so many feeeeeeelings, and so, so embarrassing.
So, I'm not sure what I'm doing. It's hard for me to write anything without being overly honest and open (which is of course why you all love me, right???), and there are a lot of things that I need to keep to myself*. It's been the best of years and the worst of years and I'm trying to figure out how to be authentic on here without overexposure.
I should probably just give the people (grandma's) what they want: pictures of Deacon.
*Edit: Okay, so I went back and skimmed my last 8 posts or so. I have hardly given you anything but facts! I feel much better about everything. I guess I'm editing myself better than I thought. Maybe it's all the posts I'm writing in my head that I'm thinking of (I do this for real- in my head I have about a new post a day, apparently with a lot of feelings in them). In any case, I'm still trying to figure out where the line is. Thanks for listening, internet :o)